An Open Letter to My Estranged Husband

4 min readMay 31, 2020

He would not listen or open up to me, so I opened up to him.

Photo by Robert Anasch on Unsplash

Dear ____,

I have tried to talk to you about how I feel in our relationship, and what I need from you as a partner. But I feel my words are not getting through to you, or worse, you willfully are ignoring them.

I do not want to be co-dependent on you or make you feel like I’m taking you for granted.

I want you to be happy.

I feel as I have failed you as your wife, friend, and partner in raising our children.

Worthless is how I feel in your eyes and not the person you initially fell in love with; if it was love to begin with, and not just lust on your part.

When you were honest with me in 2015, about your countless betrayals, this was an eye opener on how you truly felt in our relationship.

Something was amiss with us, back then, but I thought it was just because you regretted my decisions about leaving my previous job to stay home with our youngest at the time.

Now, I’m beginning to understand when you say it’s not just about me.

I am missing you in the picture. The issues you have are long rooted, and as you say, there is nothing I can do. Sex addiction is an addiction.

I believe that unless you truly want to stop doing what you have done, since we were married, there will never be a way for us to have a healthy relationship. A relationship based on trust, friendship, mutual respect, and exclusivity (as a true marriage is meant to be).

You deserve a healthy loving relationship with someone who is a friend to you, who you feel you can openly communicate, without fear of judgement.

I deserve the same.

You deserve an equal partner who will help you in times of need and hardship, see when you’re struggling and try their best to help.

I deserve the same.

You need a partner who will always be willing to raise our children with good moral values, with patience, kindness, and understanding.

You deserve someone who will step up and step in when you are struggling caring for the girls; to ease the many…


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